Wednesday, October 27, 2010

October Challenge Film #28

The Descent Part 2 (2009, Jon Harris) - 93 min.

Wow.  Words can barely express how much this movie sucked.  It's like the director wrote the manual on how to make a crappy horror movie.  I can see the ad now!  "How to Make Your Movie Suck!  Featuring the latest techniques from Jon Harris!  If you buy a copy of this book, we'll even throw in a copy of The Descent Part 2 for FREE!"  Here's a list of the cheesy and/or bad techniques used by Mr. Harris, just to give you an idea of how much this movie sucked:
  1. Jump Scares - that was the only kind of scare present in this train wreck masquerading as a film.
  2. Lighting - I'm in a cave with nothing to light my way but a flashlight, so where's that light coming from that's lighting me from above?  Was the entrance really above me that whole time?!
  3. Character Resurrection - wait, so Juno got away from all of those crawlers with an injured leg? Hmm... she must secretly be a crawler or something.
  4. The Villainous Community Member - Well, I won't explain this one fully, because it might ruin the "surprise," but it's a lot like the gas station attendant in The Hills Have Eyes, which is very cliche by now.
  5. Stupid Characters - yes, I am talking about you Sheriff Vaines.  Handcuffing someone to you and then trying to cross a very precarious natural bridge made of fallen rocks sounds like a good idea to that guy.
Part 2 just took everything that was great about the original and threw it out the window.  On the bright side, there are a few cool (sorta) kills involving squished heads.  That's the only bright side I can think of though.


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